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By trade I am a journalist with a background in current affairs, culture, health and fitness, travel and high profile interviews. I also own and run an outdoor fitness business aimed at people that hate gyms and bootcamps (www.spartanfitnesslondon.co.uk). Most importantly though, I am on Shared Parental Leave from May 31 to October 3. Everyday from 0730 to 1800 I will be in sole charge of a real and completely awesome baby girl.

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Monday, 10 April 2017

DAY EIGHT – The Lady Enjoys a Bath

SOMEHOW I managed to screw up the porridge fingers for breakfast, which meant I felt bad for M'Lady and was obliged to steam up some apple. 3 Tbsp of Oats, 3 Tbtsp of milk cooked for 2 minutes is not a tough instruction, but disappointingly I will not be picking up a Michelin star anytime soon. The first course was like cardboard that had been left in a drying chamber for a few years. There were no real complaints from the LO, just a simple pushing of said oats onto the floor. The hold up with the food meant a delay in nap-time and thus me being concerned that the sleeping pattern had been destroyed... she was supposed to be asleep at 0900 and at 0920 she wasn't even in her sleeping bag. Oh the shame!

With the margin for giant error so small I was mildly panicked but I needn't have worried. The girl decided that given the waiting around and extra chewing that was forced upon her she deserved a lie in. For her 45-minute to 1-hour nap, she was zonked out of for 2.5 hours. Apparently she writes her own rules these days.

Another car trip followed – this time see my work colleagues. Once again the circus performer turned on all the charm and put on a full display of rolls, noises and wide-eye gazing to gain the trust of the audience.

Plenty of "tummy time" (known as Front Drills in this house) and  practising sitting up took place once we were home. We're both getting pretty good now.

Then came bath time, which always goes down well. The Milk Lady was back from work in time to take on the role of chief entertainer, while I was more of an assistant-to-the chief; a sous sponger if you will. Initially it was a standard smiley affair with splashes and some giggling, but then somebody flicked a switch in the nutcase and she could not contain herself. I'll give L her due, she earnt her enterainment fee on this occasion.Who would have thought that "AAAAAAH Peeeyoooo" could be so hilarious?! Here is how it played out

Daddyshortlegs Blog Bathtime

It wasn't the usual winding down process before bedtime but, sometimes, when you've got the crowd (6-month old) onside, you've got to keep providing the clever material they crave (aaaah peeeeyooo) and give them a night to remember. As a top act your shelf life is short. One minute you're the go-to performer, winning laughs at the drop of a soft, crinkly hat and the next you're washed up on the scrap heap alongside half-chewed oats and spat-out carrots.

Let's see what the munchbunch plonker finds funny tomorrow...







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